Q: What is the ruling on 72 virgins?
A: A believing man who dies as a martyr while murdering
innocent men, women and children in the name of a Merciful God will be promised
a paradise with 72 virgins. However,
terms and conditions apply since Satan was the attorney before he was kicked
out of Heaven for testing the virgins.
Firstly, we give no guarantees of age. All our virgins have been waiting around a
long time so they might be a bit on the old side.
Secondly, we did not specify the gender. Please read the fine print. Any description need not represent reality. Marketing was done by the Jews.
Thirdly, to ensure that they remain virgins, they have no
vaginas. Even the women; they are all
provided strap-ons. However, there will
be angels around playing the Leona Lewis song, ‘Bleeding Love’.
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