The "Ruling" on Astrology

Q: What is the ruling on astrology?

A: Astrology is obviously haram.  They are called “horrorscopes” for a reason.  If they tell you something good, it is obviously made up, and if they tell you something bad, you will make it come true.  It is like religion without the fanatics and extremists, and there is no fun in that since there is no one to condemn to eternal damnation.