Q: What is the ruling on music
A: Music, like any activity that involves having fun, is absolutely haram. It is a mark of piety to be miserable. If you fart, and you feel that it has a melody, then you had better seek forgiveness. That is why, in Islam, we do not have Karaoke; we have Kara-No-OK. However, listening to Justin Bieber is exempted, since whatever he does is obviously not music. It might be the sound of dogs being sodomised to death by homosexual camels with strapons.
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